Chasing Blue Skies

A Letter to All the Daughters: For When You Feel Out Rather Than In

Daughter, you turn double digits tomorrow, and you’re so excited about the big 1-0 you can hardly sleep. Every night you flip around in your white sleigh bed like a fish out of water. I can see why, too. There’s something very big about being 10, isn’t there? I’m excited along with you, thankful for another grace-filled year. It feels good to anticipate your birthday rather than mourn its arrival like I did in your littler years.

But I don’t anticipate everything about you getting older.

Days will come when you’ll look left or right rather than up to measure your worth, and you’ll be sure you fall impossibly short of a perfect 10.

The truth is everyone falls short, and this is why God gave everyone Jesus.

You’ll hear people say differently, and your path will cross those who put more stock into popularity contests than human hearts.

Some of them will even sell the idea and bank on you believing it.

I don’t want that garbage filling an inch of space in your heart, but already a friend ignores you on the playground and you whisper the words to me,

“Mama, I feel like I don’t matter, like I’m on the outside.”

Daughter, you can’t run from that stench fast enough. Because you know what? Exclusionary isn’t in God’s vocabulary. He created you on purpose for a purpose, so hear Him whisper this truth from the heavens,

“Girl, you are in.”

We’re snuggling on the couch together, and you say you’re glad I’m the hugging type. But my arms can squeeze too hard and am I really teaching you to release the playground squabbles and other heart-heavy things into the arms of heaven?

I’ve looked you in the eyes and reminded you what you need to see in the mirror. But do I listen to you and remind you what your heart needs to hear?

“For in Christ all the fullness of Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.” ~Colossians 2:9-10

You don’t need to be a perfect 10 because you have perfect fullness in Christ. Let me grab you with my hug-happy arms and let’s rest our confidence in this together.

Ten years ago, God hand-wrote your name on your own reservation in this world, and no one else can sit there.

Because you perfectly fit right here today and always.

You are loved.

If you are sharing your own stories with a Scripture verse or passage, read this first.

Next prompt: Next week is our last week of school, so I have transitions on my mind. Next Thursday, tell me about a time God taught you an unexpected lesson or truth through a season of change or transition. I look forward to reading your stories!

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May 16, 2013 6 Comments Filed Under: Family, Listening, out of the blue, Parenting

You Are Mighty, Velveteen Mother

By Kristen

To all the women who imperfectly but faithfully mother through open hearts and unfurling arms,through available ears, promising words, and comforting wisdom,Happy Mother’s Day.

How about two special, better-than-a-slice-of-cake treats for your Mother’s Day Sunday?

The first one below: You are mighty because you mother, featuring words of my friend and cheerleader for mamas Lisa-Jo Baker.

(subscribers click here to view)

And if you feel more Velveteen Mother than Hallmark Mother, this by Ann Voskamp is for you and me.

May 12, 2013 Filed Under: Family, Holidays

Love Thy Military {or Civilian} Neighbor

By Kristen

To my fellow military spouses: Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day! Thanks to all of you who serve and sacrifice quietly in the shadows. You may not feel like it, but you are brave heroes, warrior world-changers, and tender heart-holders. You are my family away from family, and I love you.

{I’m working on a surprise for you that will be available at the end of the month. Stay tuned!}

If you find yourself living in the same neighborhood as a military family, maybe today is a good day to shower some extra love on them? Below are a few ideas that are never expected but always appreciated.

And really, these are good ways to love on any neighbor, military or civilian.

{Download a free printable of this from my original post.}

1. Ask her over for dinner. Being the only grown-up in a house gets lonely, so hanging with other adults is nice. If your schedule permits, make it routine {i.e. Invite her for dinner every Sunday or coffee every Tuesday}. FYI: she’ll be focusing on your company, not your house.

2. Bring dinner to her house. Even just a casserole she can put in the freezer is so helpful and awesome.

3. Offer her your contact information. Give her permission to call or email you if she needs something.

4. Grocery shop. If you’re making a grocery or Target run, ask her if she needs anything.

5. Take out the trash. If her trash and/or recycle receptacles are outside, take them to the curb for her.

6. Offer to babysit. Be specific. If she knows you well, offer to take her kids with you on a playdate. It doesn’t have to be for long. Just having an hour or two to exhale on her own feels like a Christmas miracle.

7. Bring over a plate of cookies. Attach a note with the names of your family members and contact information. The baked goods don’t have to be homemade. {Sometimes I buy these instead.} She is just moved by the gesture.

8. Help with home improvement. Many spouses have the urge to do house projects while on the home front. So much of the military lifestyle is out of their control, so home improvement projects help them feel in control. Help her paint a room or pick out curtains. {I picked up a drill for the first time and helped a friend with a deployed husband install bathroom tile.} Even something as simple as helping her pick up/change lightbulbs is appreciated.

9. Swap movies, books, and magazines. Let her borrow your Netflix movies and return them for you.

10. Bring her a Starbucks treat just because. It’s more about showing up and checking in than about the treat.

11. Send her a card. It’s easy for military spouses to feel ignored, so this always makes her day. Also, DaySpring has some lovely e-card options.

12. Invite her to participate in things. Even if she can’t make it the first few times, don’t quit asking.

13. Refer her to your people. If you have a hair dresser or a dentist you like, ask her if she would like their name(s). My neighbors are often the best source for where to go to get what done.

14. Give her the gift of green. Potted flowers in the summer, stems from the grocery in the winter. They brighten her home and her mood.

15. Encourage her. Look for something specific she’s doing well and brag on her to her face.

16. Give her yard a helping hand. Mow or edge her lawn.

17. Remember her birthday. Surprise her with a card or a piece of cake.

18. Remember her on holidays. Give her a card for Mother’s Day. Invite her over for Thanksgiving dinner.

19. Follow through. If you tell her you’ll do something for her, be a woman of your word.

20. Pray for her strength, her marriage, her kids. It is the least and the most you can do.

What would you add to the list?

May 10, 2013 7 Comments Filed Under: Being a Woman, Friendship, Military

One Thing That Makes All the Difference Wherever You Are

By Kristen

I carefully led my toddler boys to an empty square of grass on the patchwork of moms and tiny children, content to sit for as long as my boys would let me. The local Easter egg hunt had been a raving success, so James and Ethan were anxious to explore every bit of their booty. The air wasn’t too chilly, but I wrapped my jacket around me tighter anyway. We had recently moved, and I still felt uncomfortably out of place in our new town.

That’s when I noticed her, the petite blonde holding a cute, wavy-haired little boy who was happily pulling stickers out of eggs and putting them on his shirt and jeans.

I don’t remember exactly how we struck up a conversation, but Rebecca and I chatted comfortably from the get-go. We shared common ground as military wives new in town, and things just flowed easily from there. Before I packed up my tired kids and their Easter loot, she kindly invited our family over for dinner.

We were friends for a few months when God gave a cherry-on-top blessing by making us neighbors for almost three years before my family moved again.

Years later, both our families once again live in the same neighborhood. Her family moved here a year before mine, and for the first time we experienced what it was like to live in a new place with old friends.

People, it made all the difference.

I’m still surprised how God used that spring day and an open patch of grass to stage the beginning a favorite relationship. He arranges our futures in the most unsuspecting ways, doesn’t He? Every move we make and direction we follow has a purpose. Even if you are new in town, you are not out-of-place but comfortably and completely in His place.

Sometimes, just knowing this makes all the difference.

If you are sharing your own surprise or unexpected memory of spring, here are some things to remember:

1. New to link-up’s or have questions? Read this first.

2. Since we all dig surprises, please surprise another writer by leaving a comment on her post *or* by giving her a facebook shout-out or tweet. Use the hashtag: #outoftheblue.

3. Be sure to include the out of the blue banner {see below} in your post or link back to Chasing Blue Skies so your readers can join in the fun. That way, we can all easily find each other.

Next week’s prompt: How did God use a Scripture verse or passage to speak to you in a surprising or unexpected way?

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Also, the winner of Alexandra Kuykendall’s book The Artist’s Daughter was Melissa! Congrats Melissa, and you should have already received an email from me!