2012 August

When You Wonder if Your Work Today Matters Tomorrow

I was over it seven grumblings and three grievances ago, all his complaints over everything from the muffins I made to the dog we have.

I ascend the stairs with a sinking heart, thoughts running in overdrive about whether or not this precious child of mine will ever take a chance on seeing the glass half full. I step into my bedroom, and I don’t realize he’s followed me ’til I hear him say,

“Ya know, mom, sorry I was complaining so much downstairs. I’m just in a bad mood because of something that happened at school.”

I close my eyes and smile. Like most of us, he does not hand out apologies with ease, so the fact he owned his behavior and apologized for it has me singing on the inside. I see one child-raising lesson sinking in, a small step forward. Maybe I’m not just talking to myself after all.

Sometimes I imagine the entirety of our lives enveloped in a billowy tent, one of those kinds used for outdoor wedding receptions. All the curtains hang down and we can’t peek inside. When moments like these come – glimpses where our kids show behavior improvement or that long-awaited job offer arrives or that relationship mends – it’s like the Lord pulls back the curtain and lets us see a bit into our future. He reassures us that what we’re sweating over today is indeed a building block for a beautiful tomorrow.

What we shouldn’t do is give in to frustration that the Lord doesn’t open our curtain more often or opens another person’s curtain further. You and I can still rest knowing our kingdom work is being accomplished just as much as it is for her. His sovereignty decides when and how far into our room we may see.

One thing is certain: The Lord always moves according to our best interests.

I motion my boy over and give him a fierce hug, tell him all is forgiven. We talk about the school day and I feel my faith strengthening one building block at a time…

All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 12:13

How has the curtain been pulled back on your own life lately? What glimpses have you seen of your future that reassure you about what you’re doing today?

August 29, 2012 4 Comments Filed Under: Faith in Action, Family, Hope, Parenting

When Teasing Gets Under Your Skin {and a Giveaway}

By Kristen

My legs swing care-free under the bar-height table, my heart weighs nothing. I eat pizza and drink peach iced tea, laughing like crazy with friends.

I dearly love to laugh, and I don’t mind getting one from a good self-depricating joke. I need to be able to laugh at myself so I don’t take me so seriously. But when I do this, I open myself up to be teased. Sometimes this is okay, the teasing is light and doesn’t linger in my ears. But sometimes Teasing sits down so her mean girl friend Mockery can have some fun. She strikes a fear or insecurity in all of us, so her words linger. They are harder to take with good humor. Sometimes I can laugh her off on the outside, but on the inside I curl up, burning with humiliation.

Mockery can turn the sundress-wearing, care-free me into a buttoned-up, turtleneck-sportin’ gal in no time flat. Wearing a camouflaged armor of protection, I get real quiet as her words spin a dark tale inside. Her kind of teasing gets under my skin.

But then I see this written right here in black and white, and there’s really no arguing with it:

“So, let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” Romans 13:12

Until now, I never thought of light as something protective like armor. So instead of protecting my heart by withdrawing, I protect it with a shield of light. I fight the dark negativity rolling around inside with the fierce light of Truth. This doesn’t mean I don’t practice good sense with people who too-often abuse my trust and my heart. But it does mean I forgive quickly and completely just as Christ does me. I place confidence in no one’s opinion or words about me except His. His light shines through me, so teasing can’t get under my skin.

I look at my wrist, the one Lisa Leonard’s bracelet winds around. Lisa, my (in)courage sister, kindly sent me the “let your light shine” bracelet from her brand spankin’ new DaySpring faith collection. And since I’ve received her gift, I haven’t taken it off. It blesses me time and again, reminding me I can choose to protect my heart by letting my light shine.

And because I love it so much, I want to give this deeply meaningful bracelet to one of you! The hand-molded bracelet is cast in fine pewter, so it’s purdy and sturdy. Its claw clasp with adjustable chain means you can size it to fit perfectly, even if you have ~~bony~~ dainty wrists like me.

To enter, simply leave a comment below. You may also enter by ‘liking’ my facebook page. Just leave an additional comment telling me you did so. And if you would like to purchase another item from her stunning DaySpring collection, you may use the code LLD15 and get 15% until Friday, September 15th.

Have a wonderful week, friends. You are a light to me!

{Giveaway ends Friday, August 31st}

August 27, 2012 93 Comments Filed Under: Faith in Action, Fun Stuff, Giveaway

20 Sure-Fire Ways to Love the Military Spouse in Your Neighborhood

By Kristen

My belly reached that point where I almost knocked over a couple supermarket endcaps. Not nearly as swollen as with the twins, but plenty big still. Since every doctor’s visit showed a new problem with my pregnancy, my doctor handed me a prescription for partial bed rest. With her eyebrows raised, stern look, and I-mean-business tone, Mrs. Obstetrician ordered me to sit as much as possible and to never lift heavy things. Basically, partial bed rest is serious enough to know you have to be careful but not so serious you can justify live in help.

The only problem? Two active three year olds and a traveling husband are not conducive to sitting without lifting. Or sitting period. And with no family nearby, what’s a mama to do?

She prays. So when Mary brought me groceries from the store, I thanked God. When Rebecca grabbed my kids for a playdate, I sighed with relief. And when Elisabeth brought me dinner every Tuesday, I cried. It’s no exaggeration: These gestures and others sewed a safety net that provided enough support to keep my baby girl safe.

At this time, I lived on a military base in sunny, dusty Albuquerque. My friends knew how to help because as fellow military wives, their lives held the same challenges and needs. I didn’t even have to ask for help, they just showed up. But most military folks don’t live on a base, they blend into regular neighborhoods just like yours. And while deployments appear to be winding down, many men and women are still in the thick of things. Even if they aren’t deployed, many military members travel. And if they don’t travel, their families probably don’t have an established support group.

You may look at that military spouse and believe she’s getting along just fine. Sometimes this is accurate, sometimes she’s hanging on by her frazzled fingertips. The truth is this: Most military wives aren’t good at asking for help. Right or wrong, that’s just the way it is. We have on-the-job training in handling things ourselves, and we don’t want to put you out. So, we save our asking for the real emergencies.

Whether your neighborhood holds a brand new military family or one that’s been around a couple years, now is a good time to show them a little love. We military folks never expect these gestures, but we are backflip-and-cartwheel grateful for them when they happen!

{Download a free printable of this.}

1. Ask her over for dinner. Being the only grown-up in a house gets lonely, so hanging with other adults is nice. If your schedule permits, make it routine {i.e. Invite her for dinner every Sunday or coffee every Tuesday}. FYI: she’ll be focusing on your company, not your house.

2. Bring dinner to her house. Even just a casserole she can put in the freezer is so helpful and awesome.

3. Offer her your contact information. Give her permission to call or email you if she needs something.

4. Grocery shop. If you’re making a grocery or Target run, ask her if she needs anything.

5. Take out the trash. If her trash and/or recycle receptacles are outside, take them to the curb for her.

6. Offer to babysit. Be specific. If she knows you well, offer to take her kids with you on a playdate. It doesn’t have to be for long. Just having an hour or two to exhale on her own feels like a Christmas miracle.

7. Bring over a plate of cookies. Attach a note with the names of your family members and contact information. The baked goods don’t have to be homemade. {Sometimes I buy these instead.} She is just moved by the gesture.

8. Help with home improvement. Many spouses have the urge to do house projects while on the home front. So much of the military lifestyle is out of their control, so home improvement projects help them feel in control. Help her paint a room or pick out curtains. {I picked up a drill for the first time and helped a friend with a deployed husband install bathroom tile.} Even something as simple as helping her pick up/change lightbulbs is appreciated.

9. Swap movies, books, and magazines. Let her borrow your Netflix movies and return them for you.

10. Bring her a Starbucks treat just because. It’s more about showing up and checking in than about the treat.

11. Send her a card. It’s easy for military spouses to feel ignored, so this always makes her day. Also, DaySpring has some lovely e-card options.

12. Invite her to participate in things. Even if she can’t make it the first few times, don’t quit asking.

13. Refer her to your people. If you have a hair dresser or a dentist you like, ask her if she would like their name(s). My neighbors are often the best source for where to go to get what done.

14. Give her the gift of green. Potted flowers in the summer, stems from the grocery in the winter. They brighten her home and her mood.

15. Encourage her. Look for something specific she’s doing well and brag on her to her face.

16. Give her yard a helping hand. Mow or edge her lawn.

17. Remember her birthday. Surprise her with a card or a piece of cake.

18. Remember her on holidays. Give her a card for Mother’s Day. Invite her over for Thanksgiving dinner.

19. Follow through. If you tell her you’ll do something for her, be a woman of your word.

20. Pray for her strength, her marriage, her kids. It is the least and the most you can do.

What would you add to the list?

August 21, 2012 28 Comments Filed Under: Being a Woman, Family, Military

When Your Hard-Earned Words Up and Disappear

By Kristen

Since March I’ve been working on a post, one of those list kind I added to as ideas flashed into my mind. While tweaking and editing it last night, the entire thing vanishes into the wild blue cyber-yonder. Van-i-shes, I tell you. And after throwing away all of my one thousand hard earned words, my computer had the audacity to immediately autosave the new empty draft.

I wanted to scream. To curse. To throw my laptop out my second story window.

I did two out of three.

After hunting and searching and coming up empty, I sat down to rewrite as much as was still fresh in my memory. I scratched down a few things, but the words just weren’t coming. In frustration I slammed my laptop shut. Then it occurred to me I might not be the only one who has faced this injustice. So, I resolutely opened the laptop again and googled “rescue deleted blog draft.” Lo and behold, google came through and showed me how to recover up to 25 of my latest revisions. Oh, sweet Jesus, was I ever thankful.

Let it be said that google covers a multitude of sins.

My post wasn’t lost, it was just playing hide and seek. Thankfully I had the tools to find it, but it took proactive effort to use them, to rescue what was gone. Screaming and cursing got me nowhere. Patience and persistence did. May I remember this in other areas of my life, too.