Heaven knows all the times I’ve tried to turn myself into a chameleon trying to fit in with whatever group I’m around. Maybe I’m the new kid on the block and I want to fit in with others who have a history together. Maybe I hate conflict to the degree that I’ll shake my head yes even if I sometimes mean no. Either way, I don’t relish being odd woman out.
What’s worse? I realize at times I’ve turned my children into chameleons, too. In other words, I’ve projected my own insecurities on them by turning them into different “types” so they will appear to fit in with other kids I admire. Because I admire that childs’ parents and how they parent, I want my child to be thought of as similar to theirs so others will think I’m a good Mama, too.
And when I re-read that I think I sound like a total fruitcake.
I imagine God must shake His head at me when I do this. He hand crafts each of us (and our children!) to be our own shade – maybe florescent or jewel toned or pastel – and He is glorified when we wear our colors proud. To do anything else would be like this I-bleed-orange Oklahoma State Cowboy fan wearing Sooner red.
I pray God opens my eyes to those moments when I’m tempted to dismiss His unique, Couture-crafted handiwork found in me or my babies because I’m pining for someone else’s.
I imagine relishing His own in my own makes Him smile.