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On Success and Legacy
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Our pastor said it last Sunday: “All that matters in the end – what you see around the deathbeds – is how well someone loved.”
And my mind goes to Marie O’Neill, a woman who was never listed in any Who’s Who of anything on earth, but she was one of the most successful people I knew.
For over fifty years, my Grandma Rea lived in the tiny white clapboard house, the dot at the end of a long dirt road exclamation mark in Osage County. She had only granddaughters and treated us all like favorites, indiscriminately dishing out love like homemade sugar cookies and cinnamon rolls from the oven.
She used words for love all the time. But whether we watched My Fair Lady for the three hundred and thirty-second time or danced to Frank Sinatra or played with babies or baked and baked and baked in the kitchen, she said this a thousand more times through her actions:
I love you, Kristen.
She died a few years ago and left a miles wide legacy of love.
Oh yes, Grandma Rea was successful.
As I dive into the book of John, I read Jesus’ command for His people to love one another. But he doesn’t stop there. Over and over he says whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.
When people of action speak, we listen. And when people of words act, we are inspired. And when we find a way to imperfectly do both, we find success.
If you saw Mr. Holland’s Opus, you know He felt himself a bit of a failure for never publishing his one great musical masterpiece. So when his day job – high school music teacher – ends after thirty years, Mr. Holland wonders if large portions of his life have been misspent.
On the day he packs his office to leave, he is surprised by hundreds of former students who prove he indeed did leave his mark in the world.
“We are your symphony, Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and notes of your opus. And we are the music of your life.”
~Gertrude Lang, from Mr. Holland’s Opus
Mr. Holland etched his mark on soul after soul through words and action. And after decades of investment, he found a symphony composed, a symphony of success.
{You tube is not cooperating with me , but if you’d like to watch the scene in all it’s mid-90′s glory (oh the boxy, way-too-big clothes!) click below.}
No matter the ladders we climb or the medals we grab or the goals we reach, the only success that counts at the chapter’s end is the love-in-action story told through people, the mark we’ve left on eternal hearts and souls.
Under my roof and in my life, may I leave a legacy of love. And in the love, success.
One Thing that Happens Every Time You’re Brave
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“We have to be braver than we think we can be, because God is constantly calling us to be more than we are, to see through plastic sham to living, breathing reality, and to break down our defenses of self-protection in order to be free to receive and give love.”
Walking on Water, Madeleine L’Engle
My backyard fence hems in our yard with side-by-side wood slats. The wood slats stand together close, but not so close you can’t see between them. And oh, the things you could see if you peeked through them. You might see me chase the dog or fuss at her. Play with the kids or yell at them. You might see me fix a persistent wedgie. To really live means I must be okay with you glimpsing both smile-and-wince-worthy snippets of my life. It makes me nervous, yes, but not enough to hide inside. Oh sure, I could only wander outside when my mood and clothes speak lovely things. But real life mixes in unlovely too, and trying to hide it pretty much ensures it’ll come out twice as strong.
Writing about it all feels like living life twice, like giving you a second chance to see what you missed the first time. A lit bit trippy, a whole lot scary.
When I’m tempted to just up and dive under my bed, I remember Bravery doesn’t always ask us to charge a field running full tilt. Sometimes, He asks us to just quietly take it one slow step at a time in the right direction. Doxologies sing in grand choruses and soft solos.
Either way, there is freedom in sharing the glorious and the messy. When those “defenses of self-protection” tumble down, pride often tumbles along with it. I care more about the hearts of others than how I come across, so love has room to stretch.
How have you felt love stretching lately?
This post is an edited repost.
When Breaking Up with Your Orthodontist Feels Like Climbing a Mountain
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Several months ago, our beloved orthodontist moved out of state. I cried when he left, but not because we were good friends or anything. Our whole family just really liked him and his super friendly staff.
It doesn’t take me long to get attached to people I like.
His replacement is a darling, kind woman, and we were disappointed when she closed the office location close to our house.
We were further disappointed when she joined another orthodontist’s office. We didn’t see her or the original staff too often.
Because of all this and other reasons, I decided it was time to find a new orthodontist that better fit our location and needs. But before I could do this, I had to break up with our old one.
And let me tell you: There’s not much I enjoy less than uncomfortable conversations and hard goodbyes. Maneuvering through them is like climbing a mountain: tiring, overwhelming, and just plain hard.
I managed to follow through with the break-up the only way I know how: Making myself the bad guy as much as possible. I heard my voice repeat these phrases and more:
“I’m so sorry, but…”
“Thank you so much for all you’ve done…”
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
“Can we still be friends?”
No matter how I tried to pretty up the deed, I still waded through plenty of uncomfortable tension.
Living out this Christian life often feels this way, too. You know you need to break up with unhealthy habits, but the tension of living in new skin post break-up feels mighty uncomfortable. Our flesh craves the old way when it was first in line.
But here’s the good news: After wading through the prickly brambles of uphill tension, we are promised a better view. New habits form a little at a time, and we see glimpses of tension turning to triumph. And when we are tempted to do a u-turn backwards, we are promised a way out.
While our feet are planted on this earth, we won’t be able to completely break up with tension. But we can move through it, thriving in closer fellowship with Jesus while we do.
What about you? Where tension is concerned, what’s your mountain to climb?
