Wowzers, I was blown away by all the Mama wisdom shared by my guest authors last week. In case you missed it, here’s a round-up of the posts about raising tweens:

How I Made it Through the Tween Years by Deidra Riggs

My Public Life vs. Her Private Life by Teri Lynne Underwood

When You Want Kids Who Really Respect You by Robin Dance

Family Devotional Night{mare} by Carrie Cooper

When InbeTWEEN Has You Coming Up Empty by Yours Truly

While a small meal was served up here last week, it was hearty. I still got my fill of good eats. From prayer to facebook to devotionals to electronics, we were given practical ways to love and respect our kids that encourage our kids to love and respect us right back.

Thanks again to Deidra, Teri Lynne, Robin, and Carrie for your words. I praise God for giving you your wisdom to share so generously with us!

His faithfulness to us parents and our children ensures we can all taste and see that the Lord is good. He is the Ultimate Parent whose love, mercy and grace reach higher, deeper, and further than we could ever imagine.

If you have suggestions for other topics of parenting encouragement, please leave them in the comments below. In what other ways are you hungry for parenting encouragement? Also, what is the Lord teaching you about parenting your school-aged children?

Carrie’s life was transformed when she was diagnosed with a crippling autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis. Fear, hopelessness, and depression grabbed hold of her heart as she faced a lifetime of diability. Despite horrible pain and severe physical limitations, Carrie found hope in Jesus Christ. Now in remission, she can walk and participate fully in life again. With this newfound physical freedom Carrie responded to God’s call on her life. In 2009, she founded Comfort & Compassion Ministry to share Christ’s hope to hurting women. One year later God miraculously opened doors for Carrie to host U2HaveHope, a national radio program which shares compelling stories of hardship and faith. An award winning author, Carrie is devoted to reaching women with the good news of Christ.

You definitely don’t want to do what I did.

I thought I was fully prepared for our family devotional night: Bible and lesson plan-check; television off – check; kids – check. However, in hind sight, I can see now the whole thing was doomed.

Rookie Mistake #1: I put all three children, ages eleven, nine, and six, in the same room. But wait, isn’t that the family part of family devotional night? I thought so too, but I quickly learned my error.

Rookie Mistake #2: Not only was there typical sibling discord about seating arrangements and whose foot was touching whose body, but there was also a vast disparity in reading abilities and comprehension. The older children, bored after quickly writing the Bible verse in their notebook, fidgeted and fussed while I helped the youngest with spelling. It only got worse.

Rookie Mistake #3: I thought my daughters would appreciate the wisdom and insight of their big brother. I’ve never been more wrong. Whenever I asked a question, he smugly blurted out the answer. No one else had a chance to respond. The night ended with the girls in tears, my son chastised, and a personal vow never to repeat that drama.

Now, after much trial and error, I’ve devised a plan that works for my family. In coordinating your own devotional night, maybe I can save you a lot of frustration. Here are a few suggestions:

Family Bible Study Tips

1. Keep it Age Appropriate: My six year old enjoys reading a comic book style Bible. She practices reading and sees God’s Word picture format. For my nine year old daughter, I found a topical Bible study on friendships. It comes complete with magazine-style quizzes, sample prayers, an Bible verses revealing Jesus as her True Friend.

2. Keep it Interesting: Use computers to your advantage. I challenge my eleven year old son to study Scripture on reputable websites. After we read the verse, he writes it in his notebook and then we discuss. It’s simple, but appealing to a pre-teen. These sites have been a great hit with our family: bible.org and blueletterbible.org.

3. Keep it Personal: Family Bible study doesn’t necessarily mean group time. From now on, my motto is One Parent, One Child. Each morning before school, my son and I read Scripture and pray together. But, that technique doesn’t work for my daughters. They enjoy time alone with me at bedtime, when we read a Bible verse, pray, and talk about their day.

I’ve learned a lot since that aspirin-inducing event – my kids have, too. It’s not just reading the Bible that counts, but discovering how God created each child to learn, know, and love Him. Kids aren’t interested in busy work, but they jump at the chance to spend quality time with Mom or Dad.

What devo time style works best for your family? Do your tweens or older/younger children have a favorite study?

Although we have yet to meet face-to-face, I feel I’ve known Carrie forever. Right off the bat, I found her Biblical insights and encouraging spirit through adversity to be authentic and fresh. And since Carrie is an award winning author and a radio host, I’m clearly not the only one who respects her smarts! Through it all, she parents with love and grace by living these qualities, not just talking about them. Thank you, Carrie, for walking the walk and joining our tween parenting series!

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Teri Lynne writes from her home in south Georgia in between driving the taxi for her 11-year-old daughter and helping her pastor-husband however he requests. She describes herself as a girl who longs to connect the hearts of women with the heart of God. She writes daily at Teri Lynne Underwood: Encouraging Lives Where the Sacred and Secular Collide. In May 2011 she released the eBook, Parenting from the Overflow, which inspires moms to parent out of the abundance of their relationship with God. You can find more information about her book on the Parenting from the Overflow website. And, of course, she’s on Twitter and Facebook!

 

Parenting a toddler was tough. Temper tantrums, hissy fits, and not enough sleep…and that was just me! But parenting a tween – just wow! The constant vacillation between playing with American Girl dolls and begging to wear makeup can really wear a momma out. We are constantly experiencing firsts again…first pimple, first serious body odor, first hormonal breakdown (followed by innumerable hormonal breakdowns by both daughter and mother). You get the idea.

My girl is funny and bright and beautiful … but she can also be sassy and lazy and a real pain in the tail. Her daddy is a pastor and her momma is a writer. Bless her! Every funny thing she says has potential to be a sermon illustration or Tumblr post. Likewise, some of the more challenging aspects of dealing with a growing girl can often find themselves entering into sermons and blog posts.

That was all fine when she was four or five, even eight; but now, she’s a lot more aware about social media and about the longevity of words. She realizes that people she’s never met and likely will never meet know a lot about her. And sometimes, that makes her very uncomfortable. So, as she’s gotten older, we’ve had to work hard at walking the line between her momma and daddy sharing parenting struggles verses the girl’s need for time to grow up out of the spotlight.

We muddle through most days and sometimes her daddy gets a talkin’ to after a Bible study or sermon when people ask her about her latest escapade. She reads my blog most every day and is quick to point out when I didn’t ask if I could share a story about her. I hope I’ve learned a few lessons that might help others navigate these difficult years – especially if you tend to write about your family or use your children as illustrations in Sunday school classes or other public forums.

First, don’t tell someone else’s story. Share what you have experienced or felt, but make sure you are telling your story, not your child’s.

Second, ask permission to share. Even if you are telling your perspective, as your child gets older, take a moment to talk to him or her and explain why you want to use a specific incident and ask if it’s okay.

Finally, admit when you’re wrong. Sometimes you’re going to share something you should not have shared. It happens to all of us. Be honest and apologize. Your child will learn how valuable a sincere apology is from your example.

If there’s a mom who doesn’t have it all together, it’s me! Some days I wonder if I’ll be able to afford the therapy bills the girl is bound to send us one day. I claim two verses regularly. Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding” {because I certainly don’t understand what’s going on in that sweet tween head most of the time!} and James 1:5, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” {because I *know* how much I need wisdom!}.

{Thank you to my beautiful friend Kristen for asking me to share my heart as a means of encouraging other moms of tweens. It’s a tough road but so much better when we walk it beside gracious friends and prayer warriors.}

Folks, Teri Lynne is the best kind of writer because she walks what she writes and writes what she walks. Her feisty spunk is a magnet that makes others want to know the Source of her encouraging and engaging personality! As a wife, mama, and friend, she represents our Lord so well. While her blog has a wealth of parenting information, her new ebook is a gold mine in itself. I encourage you to do yourself a favor and check ‘em out! Plus, Teri Lynne is an Oklahoma State Cowboys fan, so I automatically love her. {GO POKES!}

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I am over-the-moon to have Deidra share her words of wisdom here today. She is one of those gals I’ve known a short time but feel I’ve known forever. Deidra writes of love and grace with amazing clarity. As an empty nester Mama, her parenting perspective is always grounded and real, so I’m mighty excited to have her sharing been-there-done-that wisdom on parenting tweens! Not only can you read her God-inspired encouragement at her own place of beauty, Jumping Tandem, but you can find her at both (In)Courage and The High Calling. Deidra is also on Twitter @DeidraRiggs.

I made it through our childrens’ tween years because of two important resources: prayer and prayer. Seriously.

When I was pregnant, and then again when my children were babies and toddlers and preschoolers, I found myself surrounded by books and pamphlets telling me what to expect and how to address it when it actually happened. But during the years my kids were old enough to earn an allowance, yet not quite old enough to get a job or drive a car, it seemed as if the resource bank dried up completely.

So imagine my surprise when, after my very first PTA meeting in my children’s new school, the president of that very same PTA walked up to me and asked if I’d be interested in praying together. For our children. For their school. For their teachers. I know, right?

Nothing particularly spiritual had taken place in that PTA meeting. It wasn’t a Christian school. Just a regular neighborhood elementary school trying to raise money for playground equipment, and looking for a way to keep people from parking in the school bus lane in the mornings. But my new friend and PTA president had asked God to show her some moms she could pray with, and God thought I might fit the bill.

It turns out that Mimi (that was the PTA president’s name) had felt God telling her to start a group of mothers who would pray. She reached out to a few moms God put in her view. Later she would tell me that she’d had to dig down deep for courage. How could she know if the women she would ask to join her would actually say yes? But I look back today and shake my head at all we would have missed if she had chickened out.

She lured us in with promises of coffee cake around her kitchen table.

We were just six moms who got up and sent our children off to school each day. But each week, we sat around the kitchen table, bowed our heads and closed our eyes, and asked if God would bless our kids, their school, their teachers, and their friends. We prayed for classmates who were bullied, and we prayed for the bullies. We prayed for teachers who were having babies or pressing through the yuck of cancer or just trying to make it to retirement. We prayed for safety on the playground and we prayed for new playground equipment. We prayed for the principal and for the school board. We didn’t have an agenda. We didn’t pray an agenda. We just asked that God would bless and show us how to be a blessing.

And God answered our prayers. Every single time.

Something happens when mothers pray together. You know? We think we’re just sitting around a kitchen table whispering hopes into the air while babies slumber in our arms and preschoolers make truck noises beneath the table. But God is sitting right there with us, and nothing that we pray escapes His heart. Not ever.

So how about you? What do you think God might do with a little bit of coffee cake, and a few praying moms, sitting around your kitchen table?

I’m an East Coast girl, living in the Great American Plains, under a great expanse of wide-open Midwestern sky. I’m an ocean-seeker, a dance, a reader, a writer, a mom to two adults, and wife to the man of my dreams. I don’t like putting away the laundry, and I often talk way too much. Other times I’m much too quiet. Sometimes I feel insecure and think I don’t measure up. I love Jesus. I can’t help it.