out of the blue

A Letter to All the Daughters: For When You Feel Out Rather Than In

Daughter, you turn double digits tomorrow, and you’re so excited about the big 1-0 you can hardly sleep. Every night you flip around in your white sleigh bed like a fish out of water. I can see why, too. There’s something very big about being 10, isn’t there? I’m excited along with you, thankful for another grace-filled year. It feels good to anticipate your birthday rather than mourn its arrival like I did in your littler years.

But I don’t anticipate everything about you getting older.

Days will come when you’ll look left or right rather than up to measure your worth, and you’ll be sure you fall impossibly short of a perfect 10.

The truth is everyone falls short, and this is why God gave everyone Jesus.

You’ll hear people say differently, and your path will cross those who put more stock into popularity contests than human hearts.

Some of them will even sell the idea and bank on you believing it.

I don’t want that garbage filling an inch of space in your heart, but already a friend ignores you on the playground and you whisper the words to me,

“Mama, I feel like I don’t matter, like I’m on the outside.”

Daughter, you can’t run from that stench fast enough. Because you know what? Exclusionary isn’t in God’s vocabulary. He created you on purpose for a purpose, so hear Him whisper this truth from the heavens,

“Girl, you are in.”

We’re snuggling on the couch together, and you say you’re glad I’m the hugging type. But my arms can squeeze too hard and am I really teaching you to release the playground squabbles and other heart-heavy things into the arms of heaven?

I’ve looked you in the eyes and reminded you what you need to see in the mirror. But do I listen to you and remind you what your heart needs to hear?

“For in Christ all the fullness of Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.” ~Colossians 2:9-10

You don’t need to be a perfect 10 because you have perfect fullness in Christ. Let me grab you with my hug-happy arms and let’s rest our confidence in this together.

Ten years ago, God hand-wrote your name on your own reservation in this world, and no one else can sit there.

Because you perfectly fit right here today and always.

You are loved.

If you are sharing your own stories with a Scripture verse or passage, read this first.

Next prompt: Next week is our last week of school, so I have transitions on my mind. Next Thursday, tell me about a time God taught you an unexpected lesson or truth through a season of change or transition. I look forward to reading your stories!

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May 16, 2013 6 Comments Filed Under: Family, Listening, out of the blue, Parenting

When You Want to See Yourself More Clearly

By Kristen

He finds me in the kitchen stirring jambalaya and adding parsley to the crockpot bowl. He sidles up next to me and almost whispers it,

“Guess what happened today, Mama?”

I turn to find his eyes flickering warmth like a good spring day and ask, “What happened today?”

“Well, I showed some of my drawings to my friend Harry, and he liked them! He said he thought I was a really good artist.”

I smile big and answer, “Well, that’s because you are a very good artist!”

He gives me a look that says You have to say that because you’re my Mama.

No son, I say it because it’s true. But perhaps it’s more expected that Mama-me would say it. It’s not expected from others, and I think that’s what makes it exciting. I see this written all over his handsome little face: Kind encouragement from others wipe the grime and dust from our own mirror showing us a more genuine, beautiful picture of ourselves.

It makes the real us feel known.

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I am known in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” ~1 Corinthians 13:12

God knows us fully, right down to the dustiest corners of our heart. We rest in this always because He loves us always. But sometimes, He surprises us by dropping unexpected encouragement into our laps from other folks, the kind of encouragement that can turn an inheritance of grief into an inheritance of grace. The kind that surprises us by helping us see ourselves more accurately.

Recently I read a beautiful, poignant memoir called The Artist’s Daughter by Alexandra Kuykendall. I met Alex at Allume last fall and then again in Denver a couple weeks ago. She is honest, genuine, and pure delight – all qualities that dance in her lovely writing.

In The Artist’s Daughter, Alex writes of her childhood as the daughter of a single doting mother and a famous Spanish artist who was not regularly involved in her life. While I have no idea what it’s like to grow up without a father, I can identify with wounds caused by disappointing realities and wishing for different, of wanting to be fully known as only God sees. And really, who couldn’t?

Alex writes of how she learned to turn an inheritance of grief into one of grace, and what this looks like in herself, her marriage, and her mothering. It is a compelling story that touches tender places relevant to my life and probably yours, too.

Because I loved it so much, I’m {surprise!} giving away one copy to one person who links up *or* comment below. I will draw a winner from the total link-ups and comments and announce that winner on the blog next week. But if you don’t want to wait for your own copy of The Artist’s Daughter, you may now find it here or here.

May it bless you as wildly as it blessed me.

Giveaway copy generously provided by Revell.

If you are sharing your own surprise story, here are some things to remember:

1. New to link-up’s or have questions? Read this first.

2. Since we all dig surprises, please surprise another writer by leaving a comment on her post *or* by giving her a facebook shout-out or tweet. Use the hashtag: #outoftheblue.

3. Be sure to include the out of the blue banner {see below} in your post or link back to Chasing Blue Skies so your readers can join in the fun. That way, we can all easily find each other.

Next week’s prompt: A memory of spring that surprises you! I’ll just tell you right now mine might have something to do with all the springtime snow we’ve seen. {Hello, 2 hour school delay on May 2nd!} I look forward to reading how your own unexpected surprise story of spring increased your joy or made a difference in your life!

May 2, 2013 21 Comments Filed Under: Authors Extraordinaire, Being a Woman, Family, Giveaway, out of the blue

Because Darth Vader Isn’t the Boss of Me

By Kristen

We stood in her kitchen talking when she made a remark aimed straight for my jugular. White knuckled, my hands grasped the countertop so I wouldn’t shake from the hit.

Sometimes words speak just as loud as actions. Words can dice a heart into a thousand pieces and no matter how you curl inward, you can’t hold them all.

When I drove home later that afternoon, I watched as the road turned to liquid and I felt myself travel down a too familiar street:

A good friend: F

Kristen’s grown-up report card: F, F, F.

My how quickly my mind gets lost in a dangerous part of town, the part of town where voices sounding like Darth Vader and Voldemort stir up trouble. But as I pull into the garage, I tell myself:

Ya know, Kristen, you don’t have to let Darth Vader be the boss of you.

That’s true, but I’m going to need more than platitudes to get me on the right road again. So I get out my sword and say the Word out loud,

“We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.” ~2 Corinthians 10:5-6 The Message

When I rest all my thoughts in Jesus, I find myself in a much better place.

Jesus is alive and in Him is my joy and I remember the purpose of living a Christ-filled life is to walk in the power of His resurrection. So dang it, I’m gonna walk like I mean it. I repent when I need to repent but I’m not defined by my sins or other people’s opinions, good or bad.

I took this picture of my sons’ Darth Vader Easter eggs just before he carefully but swiftly knocked them into his Easter basket. One quick movement with his hand and they were gone. So when I see this picture, I am reminded how with one swift move of my hand, I can open the Word and quiet the voices.

And surprise: Darth Vader really isn’t the boss of me.

If you are sharing your own surprise story behind a photo, here are some things to remember:

1. New to link-up’s or have questions? Read this first.

2. Since we all dig surprises, please surprise another writer by leaving a comment on her post *or* by giving her a facebook shout-out or tweet. Use the hashtag: #outoftheblue.

3. Be sure to include the out of the blue banner {see below} in your post or link back to Chasing Blue Skies so your readers can join in the fun. That way, we can all easily find each other.

Next week’s prompt: You pick the surprise prompt! Yup, write about whatever your creative heart desires, just make sure your post includes the element of surprise. Choose from any of the topics we’ve covered: a surprise answered prayer, friendship, adventure, appreciation, mistake, apology, confidence, goodbye, special place, or a photo. Or you may choose something brand new, whatever the Lord puts on your heart. I look forward to reading how your own unexpected surprise story increased your joy or made a difference in your life!

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April 25, 2013 4 Comments Filed Under: Being a Woman, out of the blue

Redemption of the Pink Hospital

By Kristen

I held my Daddy’s hand, my brown hair blowing in the breezeway as we walked into my Great-Grandmother Elizabeth’s nursing home. Actually, we didn’t call the bright pink building a nursing home, we called it the pink hospital. I loved visiting Great-Grandmother because she smiled a real I’m thrilled to see you! smile when she saw me, and she generously gave me peppermints from the red antique depression glass candy jar.

But I usually wrinkled my nose at the smell of the pink hospital, a combination of Clorox, Bengay, and bathroom stuff.

The place felt like death coming soon.

When Great-Grandmother Elizabeth passed away, so did my visits to the pink hospital. I missed her, but I never missed her final home on this earth.

Time sashayed along and I grew up, married, moved, and had babies. I missed my grandmas and didn’t like how my tiny boys didn’t get to visit their grandmas or great-grandmas. So when an idea hit me on a sunny, car-windows-down good mood day, I called a local nursing home and asked if they would mind company from a young mama and her two tiny sons.

They didn’t mind at all.

So every Thursday at 11, the three of us would walk inside the retirement home, me in the middle and the boys holding my hands. From the get go, my little ones garnered attention like rock stars. Inside the home’s recreation room, they wrestled on the carpet floor with each other, rolled balls back and forth with the residents, and generously dished out hugs to everyone. Knee deep in being themselves, my sons didn’t notice much about the nursing home environment. They weren’t afraid of wheelchairs, scared off by odd behavior, or bothered by weird smells. They were too busy just doing their regular thing with regular people.

They created a picture of childlike faith, the kind that’s big and real and cares more about people than the environment.

Inside that nursing home, I engaged the residents in conversation and smelled the smells of the pink hospital all over again.

But this time, the place didn’t feel like death coming soon.

It felt like love now.

If you are sharing your own story of a surprise beloved place, here are some things to remember:

1. New to link-up’s or have questions? Read this first.

2. Since we all dig surprises, please surprise another writer by leaving a comment on her post *or* by giving her a facebook shout-out or tweet. Use the hashtag: #outoftheblue.

3. Be sure to include the out of the blue banner {see below} in your post or link back to Chasing Blue Skies so your readers can join in the fun. That way, we can all easily find each other.

Next week’s prompt: {Something a little different, a lot of fun.) A surprise photo! Share with me a simple photo and tell me what surprises you about the picture. Does it remind you of something from childhood? Does it tell a story about a season of your life? Does it bring back an unexpected memory? How did the Lord use it as a way to unexpectedly bless you? I look forward to reading your creative stories!